The whole world is built on lies! - Scott Stephenson editorial

Don’t worry, darlings, The Chaff is back to deliver another dose of deliberately dopey and delightfully dumb discourse on dis, dat and d’everything draining and dripping down from our brains onto these pages through strainers that separate and set aside the sweet and very smart wheat, from the silliest and stupidest Chaff that’s left behind. It is this raw, undiluted material that almost entirely comprises the incredibly un-credible content that whizzes across the word walls of this column, week after week. If intelligent and insightful commentary is what you are seeking, then seek no further - it’s available in Keith Roulston’s From the cluttered desk column directly above the garbage-words you are trash-reading right now. If unbridled inanity is actually what you’re after then you’re in the right place - a place widely considered by most to be wrong. Still with us? Wonderful! Read-on, word warriors!

 

Everyone knows that hoaxes have always been around since the very beginning of time, when aliens arrived on the planet Earth to initiate the human species. Ever since, hoax after hoax after hoax has cropped up to continually confuse the confused, fool the foolish and perplex the perplexed without fail. If we don’t wake up, we’ll never escape the horrible hoax cage that the Illuminati uses to keep us hungry for, but blind to, the truth.

 

There are many famous examples of notable hoaxes from throughout history. The moon landing - hoax. The assassination of President John F. Kennedy - hoax. The entire country of Spain - hoax. But the biggest hoaxes ever hoaxed upon us never get any discussion. That is, until now.

 

The Chaff, already well-known for its bravery and willingness to speak truth to power, has exposed a hoax that changes the fabric of our existence and our very understanding of what it means to be alive. If you’re unwilling to learn the truth and have all of your precious illusions shattered, then we recommend that you stop reading immediately or close your eyes and imagine that you’re reading words that are not completely life-altering. Still with us? Great!

 

Brace yourselves, dear readers, for The Chaff has uncovered the ultimate hoax, the grand puppetry behind the puppet show, the smoke and mirrors that have fooled humanity for centuries - the concept of time itself is nothing more than an elaborate ruse! The ticking clock on your wall, the calendar on your desk and the very concept of past, present, and future - all cunningly orchestrated illusions. Time, as we know it, is a carefully-crafted mirage perpetuated by shadowy forces with an agenda beyond our wildest dreams or, perhaps more accurately, our wildest nightmares.

 

Now, skeptics may scoff, and the naysayers may roll their eyes, but The Chaff stands firm in its commitment to unveil the truth, no matter how uncomfortable or mind-bending it may be.

 

But wait, dear readers, the rabbit hole goes even deeper. Strap yourselves in as we unravel yet another layer of this mind-bending tapestry of deception. What if we were to tell you that being born, the very cornerstone of our existence, is nothing more than an elaborate ruse? That’s right, the whole concept of birth itself is a meticulously-crafted illusion, a grand performance orchestrated by those who pull the strings behind the curtains of our perceived reality.

 

Consider this: nobody remembers being born. Pause for a moment and reflect on your earliest memories. Can you recall the sensation of emerging into the world, the first breath of life? Chances are, you draw a blank. But of course, you say, parents tell us we were born, and there may be pictures or videos documenting the momentous occasion. However, let us pose this to you - can we truly trust our parents to be impartial narrators of our origin story?

 

We assert that parents are unwitting accomplices in this grand charade. They, too, have been ensnared in the web of deceit, perpetuating the notion of birth with unwavering conviction. Pictures and videos, you argue, serve as tangible proof. Ah, but consider this - in an era where deepfakes and digital wizardry abound, can we really trust the authenticity of these supposedly concrete pieces of evidence?

 

As unsettling as this revelation may be, it challenges us to question the very fabric of our existence. Are we truly born, or are we seamlessly integrated into a storyline that predates our supposed arrival? The Chaff invites you to peel back the layers of conventionality; to question the narratives that have been handed down through generations.

 

Stay tuned, because in the weeks to come, we’ll delve deeper into the implications of these mind-bending discoveries. The Chaff is not just a column; it’s a beacon of enlightenment in a sea of misinformation. So, as we embark on this journey together, remember, truth is stranger than fiction, and The Chaff is here to serve it up in all its bewildering glory.