Step aside Zorro - there's a new "Zed Guy" - The Chaff with Scott Stephenson

Zaps, zings and zips are happening. Zigs are too. We’ve all seen the zines, zeroed-in on the zones and ZZ Top’d “La Grange”. Welcome to The Chaff - your weekly Zen-ending zoom into zaniness, zestiness, zealotry and zip-a-zi-zoo-za, zip-zizzy-zay!
It’s zummer time again and with the onzet of “Hot Hot Heat” zeason, we here at The Chaff are zelebrating! We attended a zany zale of a sale on letter “zeds” and we just couldn’t rezist! The zalesman who zold us the zeds said that the letters need to be uzed up A.Z.A.P. or they might get gross.

 

ZzzzzzzzZzzzzzzzzZzzzzzzzzzzZzzzzzzzz
So zorry! Just fell azleep there for a zecond.

 

Z’anyway. We need to uze up all theze exztra letter zeds, zo zhank zou zery zuch for underzanding the pozitioz we zre iz.
ZzzzzzzzzzzzZzzzzzzzzZzzzzzzzZzzzzzzz

 

Oops! We just spilled the rest of the “final letter of the alphabet” surplus we’d acquired and now we don’t have any left to use. Whoopsies!

 

Anyway, this The Chaff is about visiting the *oo to see all of our favourite animals, from aardvarks to *ebras. We interviewed a *oologist to learn more about the “dos” and “don’ts” of visiting the *oo. 

 

After that we review the 1991 classic film sequel - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Oo*e. Cowabunga!
Then we will discuss three different axes: the x-axis, the y-axis and the *-axis. All terrific axes but our favourite is definitely the *-axis. Up and away!

 

Thinking about visiting Africa? Well, make sure to check out our The Chaff Travel Guide entries on *imbabwe, *ambia, Tan*ania, Mo*ambique, Swa*iland and Kenya. 

 

Going to Europe? Check out our The Chaff Travel Guide entries on France, Bosnia and Her*egovina, C*ech Republic (go Gabby and Alyssa!), Italy and Portugal.

 

Western and Central Asia capturing your imagination? Learn more about this captivating region in our The Chaff Travel Guide entries on A*erbaijan, Ka*akhstan, Kyrgy*stan, U*bekistan and Iraq.

 

Wondering about what really goes on with our commonwealth cousins in New *ealand and Australia? Check out our entries on them in the The Chaff Travel Guide!

 

From “A to *” The Chaff Travel Guide covers all of the world’s great nations, including South American destinations like Bra*il, Vene*uela, Chile and Colombia.

 

Travel the world without leaving the comfort of your own medically-induced coma that is The Chaff Travel Guide!

 

We now need to take a moment to share a message from our sponsor - The Store That Sells Letters:
ZipZapZop everyone! It’s me: the Zipity Zap Zazou Zazz man himself - Dervid Hamson. 

 

Do you need some letters but don’t know where to find ‘em? Well, guess what?! We have vowels! We have consonants! We have numbers too! 

 

Looking for a ‘tee’? Take two - a big ‘T’ and a little ‘t’ - we have ‘em both because we’re dedicated to all of your letter, number and symbol needs.

 

Our latest promotion is one you can’t afford to miss. Buy two Os and get a 0 for half-off. Need more 0s than Os? Then take two 0s and receive half-off on an O. It’s outrageous! Or/0r is it 0utrage0us? Only/0nly you can be the judge.

 

The Zipity Zap Zazou Zazz man, Dervid Hamson, is a man you can trust because that’s a Zipity Zap Zazou Zazz guarantee!
***The Store That Sells Letters is required by law to inform the public that we recently sold some letter zeds that had gone bad. We advise anyone who acquired any of our letter zeds recently to dispose of them immediately, they are dangerous. Perfectly fine writing is being affected by our toxic letter zeds running afoul and fully amok. For the love of gourds, take heed of this ominous warning.

 

(????Music jingle????) Zipity Zap Zazou Zazz buy some letters Za Zi Zou Zazz!
ZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZzzzzzz

 

Sorry, we fell asleep during that message from our sponsor. We’ve used their services for quite some time and they’ve never let us down. For all of your letter, symbol and number needs, use The Store That Sells Letters. Tell Dervid that The Chaff sent ya and that we are going to pay him back very soon. We promise and that is a promise that Dervid can *ipity *ap *a*ou *a** trust!
Well, the ha*y, la*y day* of summer are back and we are here for it. We’re going to go surfing like a real life Beach Boys song. By that, we mean we are going to surf the internet looking for obscure facts about the Beach Boys. Did you know that the actual beach on which the real Beach Boys originally formed is called Boy Beach? It’s true! Their official name is the Boy Beach Beach Boys but they shortened it to broaden their appeal.

 

That’s it *ombies, *oomers, *oners and planners, *endaya from Euphoria and, finally, All That Ja**!