Some long-forgotten customs - Glimpses of the Past with Karen Webster

Only a few decades ago, the customs and rituals for a bride-to-be were much different than in the present day.

 

Each young woman had a hope chest. It may have been a cedar chest made lovingly by her father or grandfather or it might have been a cardboard box from Simpson Sears. Nevertheless, this vessel contained all the hopes and dreams of a young maiden. There would be quilts or blankets, as well as dishes, glassware and other useful household items. Throughout time, different items were sought after. Did I hear cornflower glassware, Blue Mountain pottery or hammered aluminum accessories anywhere? A china pattern would be chosen from popular manufacturers such as Royal Albert or Paragon. Alongside that would be silverware from Rogers Bros. or Oneida and dainty crystalware.

 

Once a young couple became engaged and had set a date, the bride’s mother would get busy and make the wedding cake. There was a special set of square tinware pans in three sizes graduating from the largest for the bottom tier of a cake progressing to medium-sized and then the smallest square for the top. Additional cakes were also baked to be handed out at some later nuptial events. The ingredients would be from treasured family recipes, but all the wedding cakes resembled a Christmas fruit cake. The week of the wedding, the extra cakes would be carefully cut into narrow strips and individually wrapped in tinfoil or tiny plastic bags. A small paper doily and a ribbon in the bride’s chosen colour completed the token to be given out following the wedding. There was a superstition that young girls could take their piece of wedding cake and put it under their pillow, supposedly to dream of their future groom.

 

Bridal showers would be given by relatives, friends or co-workers, but never by a member of the immediate family. The bride and her wedding party would be guests of honour at such functions, being seated at the front of the room. Little games would, such as word scrambles and knowledge about the bride and groom, would be the order of the day. When the gifts were presented to the bride, bows and ribbons from them were carefully attached to a hat or apron by one of the bridesmaids and the bride would graciously wear this item while thanking the guests for their gifts.

 

The groom was not forgotten in the midst of wedding plans, as his buddies would choose a remote location for a stag. And that was just what it meant, no women allowed.

 

The week before the wedding, a bride’s mother would hold a trousseau tea that allowed guests to view all the items from the hope chest, the chosen china, flatware and crystal patterns, as well as all the wedding gifts and gifts from any bridal showers. Every crook and corner of the house would be used. Beds were spread first with the blankets and quilts from the hope chest and then the gifts received (with the cards naming the donor) all arrayed there. Also sometimes included would be the bride’s going-away outfit and her negligee.

 

The food for a trousseau tea, made the day before, was very special. First, loaves of pink, green, yellow, brown and white bread (without crusts) were ordered from the local bakery. These loaves would come sliced very thinly horizontally. The Purity Flour Cookbook of 1945 included a small chapter these bridal sandwiches, which could include fillings such as chopped stuffed olives moistened with salad dressing, tuna and celery, cottage cheese with chopped crisp bacon or maraschino cherries, chopped nuts and coconut, to name a few. Some sandwiches would be stacked and cut to make pretty ribbon sandwiches, while others may have been rolled into pinwheels. These delicacies would have been wrapped in slightly moistened tea towels and refrigerated until the next day.

 

Following a guided tour of the premises, guests were ushered to the living room where a precise ritual of serving would occur. First, a serviette and small plate were offered with the question, “tea or coffee?” The young waitress (a relative or neighbour) would then return with a lovely teacup full of the tea or coffee that had been poured by an honoured relative such as the bride’s grandmother or aunt. Next offered would be a plate of those dainty sandwiches offered with a pickle. Following that would be a refill on the hot beverage and then finally a selection of delicious squares and cookies. Remember that there was a special order and rhythm to the serving at a trousseau tea. Seating in the living room at one time could be ladies who had just arrived, others part-way through the experience and still others who were at the dessert portion. One young mother made the mistake of taking her two-year-old son to such an event. He could not understand why the lady seated next to him was being served sandwiches while all he had was a serviette.

 

Leading up to the actual wedding day, the vehicles were included in the preparations. Starting in the 1950s, tissue manufacturers offered their paper products in brilliant colours. Boxes and boxes of facial tissue were used to make pompoms to be attached to the cars. The practice of colouring these tissues was discontinued in the 1980s due to environmental concerns.
At one time, the celebration of a marriage included just a meal following the ceremony, likely in the church where the event took place. No matter how clever the groom thought he was in hiding his car, friends and relatives took much pleasure in finding it and sabotaging it with confetti and tin cans tied to the bumper. The worst prank was placing limburger cheese on the manifold.
The community would host a reception in a local hall once the couple was home from their honeymoon. The band would play until 1 a.m., but when they started to pack up their instruments, the crowd might have clapped in unison begging for more music and usually the musicians would comply.

 

Time rolls along and customs change. Many of the events listed here have been relegated to happy memories.