Decide on empathy - Shawn's Sense with Shawn Loughlin

One day just after Christmas, my daughter’s Kindergarten class had a pajama day. Students had the choice to wear their favourite pajamas to school that day for a bit of fun that included watching a movie together and having some popcorn.
Since the lead-up to the holidays, she had been obsessed with the 2018 version of the classic Dr. Seuss tale, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, simply titled The Grinch, watching it constantly. So, when it came time to pull out a set of pajamas for her, I naturally reached for her beloved Grinch pajamas, sure that those would be the ones she’d want to wear. 

 

She quickly scolded me and told me she didn’t want to wear those to school; she wasn’t upset about it or angry, she just matter-of-factly told me that she didn’t want to wear them at school and the reason was because one of her classmates, a friend of hers, was scared of ol’ Grinch and she didn’t want to scare him.

 

Of course, Jess and I were both touched by and proud of her empathy in that situation. It has since stuck with me as an early example of how to live in a caring society, something that, it’s sad to say, seems like it’s leaving us.

 

Here is my daughter, making a quiet, personal decision to not cause her classmate any trauma, simply because she wanted to do the right thing for him. Sure, it meant that she wouldn’t wear a set of pajamas that she may have otherwise liked to have worn, but it didn’t compare to her care for another human being.

 

It made me feel like we had been doing something right to lead our daughter to think this way and to make the decision she did.
In this time of the culture wars (in addition to tariff wars and real wars), many people, mostly those on the right side of the political spectrum, are fixated on what they’re “not allowed” to do and what they’re “not allowed” to say. “We can’t even say ‘Merry Christmas’ anymore. What kind of a country is this?”

 

That, as we know, is not true, but the whole situation had me thinking how it could have played out if different parties were involved and people tried to care for a student. If, say, a teacher noticed that one of her students had a great fear of something and wanted to protect him, let’s say she talks to the students or writes a letter home to parents, saying, “Hey, Student A is tremendously scared of Character X, so it would be greatly appreciated if his classmates refrained from wearing clothing depicting said character to class. Signed, Mrs. D.”

 

This would never happen, but just stick with me. Some parents would be outraged. “How dare you tell my kid that he can’t wear....” There would be letters, angry posts in Facebook groups, incensed chatter on street corners, in grocery stores and coffee shops. 
Surely it wouldn’t stop there. That’s right - it’s time for a petition. Someone would create an online petition to ensure that not just students at the school in question, but that all students at all schools will be free to wear whatever they want, refusing to bow to the “special interests” of one student. It would garner worldwide, anti-woke support.

 

Right-wing media would surely take notice and perhaps we have a viral tale on our hands. “Canadian school censors students.” “Get in line or get kicked out, school tells kids.” “1984 is back, Canadian school floats mind control.”

 

And that’s what I saw in my daughter in that moment. She chose empathy instead of the fear and indignation that comes with not doing something because it might bother someone else. She put her classmate above herself. If society had more of her and chose against turning inward, we’d be in a much better place.